The Purpose of Marriage
Col.1:16 – “All things were created through Him and for Him”
Rom.11:36 – “For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen”.
The word of God leaves us in no doubt that we are created through Him and for Him and His purposes alone. We cannot live victoriously for God until we learn how to live because of God. We exist because of God, and we are here only for the purposes of God. Hence, our ultimate purpose in lives is to bring him glory.
Likewise, marriage is also created by God to bring glory to Him. Not just being happy, having a soul mate, someone to love and be love, etc. While it includes all these things, there is a greater purpose and that is to make us holy and to bless His kingdom on this earth and impact our next generation positively.
Why is it that many have fail in their marriage and divorce rate kept increasing?
Because we have lost the purpose of marriage. We have not allowed the marriage to sanctified us and make us more holy, we always expect marriage to bring us happiness. Many marriages fail today, and families torn apart by divorce because of wrong theology. We are deceived to think that personal need is more important than the glory of God.
Eph. 4:1-2 – “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love…”
Paul in the book of Ephesians chapter 4 exhort us to have a walk that is worthy of the Lord in our calling, then in chapter 5 he talks about the relations of marriage. Did we walk in the manner that is worthy of God in our marriage?
In many areas of our live we fight for the glory of God, yet in marriage many of us do not fight His glory. The key to a good marriage is not to pursue a good marriage, but to pursue the honor and glory of God.
In order to understand this concept well, let’s consider the three callings we have in God:
First Call – Christlikeness
While many of us are aware of the general call for Christians to reconcile man unto our Lord, many of us tend to neglect the primary call upon our lives; which is to grow into the likeness of Christ.
Rom.8:28-29 – “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
God says that He will work all things together for our good. Question: What is the definition of “good” in this context? The next verse tells us it is our transformation into Christlikeness.
Jesus says in Matt. 22:37-38 that the greatest commandment is, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind”.
If we put this greatest commandment as the top priority in our lives, God will use every situation in life to make us mature, like Christ. When we grow in Christlikeness (primary calling), we will naturally grow in God’s ministry calling upon our lives (secondary calling). Our devotion to our primary calling will determine our progress in our secondary calling.
Our destiny is closely tight to our transformation. It is not possible for us to fulfil our destiny without going through the transformation process. God will not overlook our character transformation & just bring us to fulfilment of our destiny.
If we recognize that the highest call of our Christian life is grow in Christlikeness and that our marriage is to glorify God, then the key to the success of our marriage is GROWTH. When we take every obstacle as an opportunity for growth and make it our focus and support each to grow to be more like Christ, we will succeed in your marriage.
If our spouse would not surrender to God, then we do it. The best thing we can do to our marriage is to surrender and keep surrendering to God. The choice is ours. Over or overcome. Expectation only leads to disillusioned and disappointment.
John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Marriage is the perfect place for us to practice this truth. If we cannot laydown our life for our spouse, how can we lay it down for others.
James 3:14-4:1 – “But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth…16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there…4:1 – “Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires that battle within you?”
Love seeks the highest good for the person we love. Whenever there is a conflict, ask ourselves this question “What am I thinking, am I seeking the highest good for my spouse or am I seeking my own emotional needs and satisfaction?”
If we do not die to unrealistic expectations and if we refuse the cross, we will find ourselves at constant war with our spouse instead of at peace. We feel frustrated instead of contented, and disappointed instead of satisfied. Why? Because both partners in a marriage have their expectations, and sometimes these expectations conflict. Hence, if we do not crucify ourselves, we will be crucifying our spouse!
If we really believe that Christ likeness is our highest call and glorifying God is the highest purpose in our marriage, then we will take our growth in our marriage seriously.
Second Call – To be salt and light
Matt.5:13-14 – “You are the salt of the earth… (vs.14) you are the light of the earth”
We are called to be salt & light of the earth. As salt, we are supposed to help preserve and make others tastier on this earth through the power and love of Christ in us. As light, we are supposed to point others to the greater light – Jesus Christ.
Sadly, many can live out this calling only as individuals but fail to do so as couples. They do not influence other couples’ marriages positively and they do not point others to live out their marriages as a reflection of Christ’s union with the Church (Eph.5:22-32)
Lev.26:8 – “Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight…”
If five put a hundred to flight, a hundred should only be able to put two thousand to flight. But the bible says “ten thousand” instead of “two thousand” – why? Did God make an error in His mathematical calculation? No, of course not.
God is talking about the power of synergy in unity!
Two are better than one, if united. Two are less than one, if divided. Instead of experiencing the power of synergy working in their marriage, many end up being poor testimonies, because they are not growing in oneness but instead growing in division over the years.
What is the most important ministry in church or Christian organization? – Prayer Meeting!
What is the most important element for a prayer meeting to be effective? – Unity!
Matt.18:19 - “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven”
If churches are made up of couples and families who are not united in spirit, soul and body, then how can the church prayer meeting be effective? How can the church continue to grow healthily in unity as a body?
The unity of our marriages contributes to the unity of the church which contributes to the unity of His kingdom. Our marriage is not just about us, it is supposed to glorify God! If we sincerely desire the advancement of His kingdom, then we should take our second call seriously and make our marriage like tastier salt and greater light to the earth.
Third Call – Great Commission
Matt.28:19 - “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations…”
The mandate of the Great commission is to make disciples not just converts. We are called to do spiritual multiplication and just spiritual addition.
We reproduce after our own kind. The success of our discipleship making is not in the program or the material, it is the Person. The quality of our life determined the quality of disciples we produce.
For that reasons, Satan goes all out to destroy the families and marriage. If he succeeds, half of his battles are won.
Points to Ponder:
Are we intentionally pursuing godliness and holiness in our daily lives to grow in Christlikeness?
How is your marriage affecting and contributing to the unity of the body and to the effectiveness of the Great Commission?