Father as King
As priest, the father represents his family to God. As prophet he represents God to his family. Finally as king, he governs his family on behalf of God.
Husbands, if we desire to be honored like a King at home, first and foremost, ensure your wife is treated like a Queen. Please be reminded that to lead does not equal to dominate and headship does not mean superiority. In every relationship we have both rights and responsibilities. We should always focus on our responsibilities rather than on our rights.
In Gen.2:18, the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him”.
Many people tend to associate ‘helper’ as someone who is inferior to us. This is especially so in our culture when we commonly address our foreign maid in the house as “helper”. However, in Jn.16:7, Jesus also says that “It is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the helper will not come to you, but if I depart, I will send Him to you.
The ‘helper’ here refers to the Holy Spirit - is he inferior to us?
Nevertheless, wife, it is also important that you do not try to be the ‘Holy Spirit’ to your husband. Many think that when God asks them to be the helper, they mistakenly assume that they are called to be the “neck” to control the head.
To be a helper simply means that if the husband goes out of sync with God, it is the wife’s duty to intercede and gently guide the husband back to the ways of God. I personally believe that the primary role of helper as a wife is to help the husband fulfill his destiny in God as the head of a family.
Head of the House
Exo.4:24-26 – “And it came to pass on the way, at the encampment, that the Lord met him and sought to kill him. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone and cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at Moses’ feet, and said, “Surely you are a husband of blood to me!” So He let him go. Then she said, “You are a husband of blood!” - Because of the circumcision.
This passage has perplexed many students of the word over the years.
- Why did God seek to kill Moses?
- How did circumcision avert God's wrath?
In Gen.17:10-14, it describes the covenant God made with Abraham.
Gen.17:10-14 - “This is My covenant which you shall keep, between Me and you and your descendants after you: Every male child among you shall be circumcised; and you shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskins, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between Me and you. He who is eight days old among you shall be circumcised, every male child in your generations, he who is born in your house or bought with money from any foreigner who is not your descendant. He who is born in your house and he who is bought with your money must be circumcised, and My covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. And the uncircumcised male child, who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that person shall be cut off from his people; he has broken My covenant.”
The specifics of the rites were to be kept through all the descendants of Abraham. Every male, including the servants, was to be circumcised on the age of eight days. Failure to do this would result in being cut off from God’s people. Hence, failure to circumcise his son would have removed Moses from a covenant relationship with the Lord.
However, it seems that Moses had neglected the sacred rite. And from the passage above it seems to convey the impression that he was persuaded by Zipporah against it. Why did she immediately circumcise her son when she saw that God wanted to kill Moses (4:25)? It seems to show that she obviously knew the reasons. However, she apparently disapproves of the circumcision culture as she found the practice revolting - we read that she casts the foreskin at Moses' feet and called him a "husband of blood". Many non-Hebrews who have never seen circumcision might find the procedure utterly strange, inhumane, and disgusting.
But there is a bigger question. Why didn’t God attempt to kill Zipporah instead of Moses if she is the one that disapproves the circumcision?
The best conclusion is that God expected Moses to lead as the head of the house in obedience to the Lord rather than compromising and giving in to his wife.
We know that in Eph.5:25, Husbands are expected to “love their wives as Christ loved the church”. However, let’s not forget also the words of Jesus “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple” (Lk.14:26)
We need to find the healthy tension of obeying both passages!
Points to Ponder:
Husband, have you compromised in your obedience to lead your family according to God’s precept in trying to ‘love’ your wife?