Submission
Respect is closely intertwined with Submission. It is not possible to says that you respect your husband and yet not a submissive wife.
The word ‘submit’ use in the bible for wives in Greek literally means "to stand under," to take a position under the leadership of your husbands. This does not mean a tyrant-slave relationship. Scripture clearly indicates otherwise, especially in the word to husbands. But it does mean that the wife is willingly (not reluctantly), to abide by the husband's final decisions in matters concerning the family and the home.
Today, we have a generation of women very much influenced by the Feminist Movement which actually runs against the grain of biblical teaching for women. Though the movement it has its certain values, a protest against some longstanding and deep-seated injustices against womankind, but to claim that women should be free to do everything that men do, and thus to express freedom by imitating men, is a total misunderstanding of the relationship intended by God of man to woman and woman to man.
Submission Does Not Mean Being Inferior to Your Husband
1 Cor.11:3 – “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God”
In the above passage, three head is mention – Head of man is Christ, head of woman is man and head of Christ is God. Yet we see in the Gospel of John that Christ and God the Father are one.
Jn.10:10 – “I and the Father are one”
While Christ is on this earth, he submitted himself to the headship of God even though He is one and equal with God the Father. For it is necessary that they play out their different roles and function to accomplish the eternal perfect plan of God. This is simply an order established by God. Likewise, God created man and women to be equal, but in marriage, God design is for the wife to submit to the husband. This is functional necessity – a necessity exemplify with God and Jesus!
As the common saying goes, "When two people are on a horse, one has got to be behind!" So in marriage, one must follow. If it is the man's responsibility to be the head and lead, then the wife cannot also be a leader -- there can be only one.
No leader can go farther than his followers permit him. If he gets too far out in front he is no longer a leader, he is isolated. It is good followers who make leadership possible. Therefore it is only as the wife is willing to permit, and even to encourage her husband to lead, that he is able to fulfill his leadership role.
Part of the essential element of the manhood created by God is leadership in the home. Therefore, if a wife destroys her husband's leadership, she destroys something of God’s composition of his manhood.
Genesis 3:16 – “To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
The common interpretation of this verse is that the women will long for the headship given to men due to the fall. However, God says “he will rule over you”.
Men have differing degrees of ability to do this. Some lead easily and well, some are dogmatic and others could be timid and uncertain. Whatever it may be, a wife must learn to soften and constrain. She must never try to displace it, or to assume it herself. Unfortunately, we are witnessing more and more women fulfilling this prophesy which is supposed to be a warning rather than intention. Women are created by God to be a helper, a “completer” and never a “competitor.”
And the word “Rule” means to govern or manage rather than to dominate, a mistake which many husband also has committed.
Submission, as mention earlier means “to stand under” - a voluntary attitude of giving in and cooperating”. It does not mean less intelligent, less valuable, less significant, etc.
In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” And in John 16:7, Christ also says that after He goes to the Father, He will send the Holy Spirit as our helper “Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.”
Is the Holy Spirit inferior to us? Absolutely not! Men need to respect and appreciate the roles of their wives as a helper rather than treating them like a domestic helper. Likewise, wives need to learn the humility of their roles and not trying to be Holy Spirit to your husband.
Headship is an anointing given to the husband, if the wife tries to usurp it, it will become a yoke of burden to her.