Submission & Faith
Let us consider another important reason why many wives struggle with the issue of submission to their husbands, before we move on to address the roles and responsibility of the husband in the coming weeks.
1Pet.3:5-6 – “This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands…”
Regrettably, the root problem is usually related to the Lordship of Christ or the fear of trusting God fully.
In 1Pet.2:18, Peter exhorts, “Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh…” And then in vs.21 – he points to Jesus as our example “because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps…” And finally, in vs.23, he gave us the key to submission as he “commits himself to the Him who judges righteously…”
The Lord Jesus set us an example of a suffering servant who committed Himself to God the Father who judges righteously.
As Paul set before husbands the example of Christ, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25), so Peter sets before wives the same standard. Wives are to submit to their husbands as Christ submitted to the Father in accepting the circumstances in which the Father had placed him.
He did not brawl, argue or strife with his circumstances, he took them as from the Father's hand. Instead, "He endured them," as we read in Hebrews about Jesus, "who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame…" (Hebrews 12:2).
Jesus accepted His circumstances with joy because He understands that they are for a great purpose. Similarly, Christian wives should trust and follow their husbands as far as they possibly can, knowing God’s intent for Christian marriages. Where they cannot, in good conscience, they are still to love and obey their husbands as unto the Lord.
2 Corinthians 8:1-5 – “Moreover, brethren, we make known to you the grace of God bestowed on the churches of Macedonia: that in a great trial of affliction, the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded in the riches of their liberality. For I bear witness that according to their ability, yes, and beyond their ability, they were freely willing, imploring us with much urgency that we would receive the gift and the fellowship of the ministering to the saints. And not only as we had hoped, but they first gave themselves to the Lord, and then to us by the will of God.
In the above passage, what enabled the Macedonia church to excel in their giving as they give even beyond their ability? The key lies in the following verse, where it says that “they first gave themselves to the Lord, and then to us…”
In like manner, until and unless the wives learn to fully surrender their rights and lives to God and are willing to fully submit/trust the Lord, they can never be able to fully submit/trust their husbands. Remember, the whole issue is about putting our faith in the sovereignty of God and not in our husbands.
In Titus 2:4-5, Paul also told Titus to “admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands that the Word of God may not be blasphemed or so that the word of God will be honored”.
Paul used a strong word “admonish” because the honour of the Scripture and the glory of God was at stake. In other words, this simple set of command has immense implications, and far-reaching ramifications for the kingdom.
In Rom 2:24, Paul said, “the Name of God is blasphemed because of you (Israel)...” and that was because Israel failed in their witness to the Gentiles.
Similarly, if both husband and wife do not play their role well in a marriage relationship, God’s name is in danger of being blasphemed.
I know that what the Bible commands here is not popular and may even seem totally irrelevant to our culture. However, we must make a choice to either embrace the truth or embrace our culture. If we try to force the bible truth to fit into our culture, we will find that it simply wouldn’t fit. The Christian life is not about being popular or fitting in with society, it is about the glory of God. In fact, our life is not ever about us, but about how God will be honoured in and through us.
Barometer of Respect
When men do not get the due respect from their wives, they will seek it elsewhere. Feeling much less a man at home, he chose not to go home and instead go to places when he feels more like a man – be it work, play or entertainment. Busyness can become a painkiller that serves to relief the pain of an empty life.
Clinical studies and surveys have also shown that a lack of affirmation is one of the main reasons many men slip into pornographic addiction, as they end up seeking their significance and respect in the fake cyber world.
Another clear barometer of (the lack of) respect is anger. If crying is a woman’s response to feeling unloved, anger is a man’s response to feeling disrespected. Wives, if you find your husband persistently angry and it seems that there is an unquenchable fire always burning in his belly, it is most likely due to him feeling the pain or humiliation of your disrespect. Thus, a disrespected husband will create a conflict environment for the family.
Points to Ponder:
Wives, are you struggling with the issues of submission to your husband?
In our journey with the Lord, maybe as Paul says in 2 Cor.13:5, there are times we need to “examine ourselves as to whether we are in the faith…”