Devotion 14 –Danger of pregnancy & Destroying the Purpose of Dating
One of the serious consequences of sex before marriage is the risk of pregnancy. It causes a woman to face the responsibility of having an illegitimate child. Nothing can damage a young woman’s life like an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. It may result in a forced marriage or single parenthood where adult responsibilities are trust upon her prematurely. Worse, when an abortion is the chosen option, it makes her bear the guilt of a murderer for life.
We should always marry because we want to, not because we have to. The wedding ceremony is not just a formality, it is a spiritual reality. It creates a spiritual hedge of protection both for the couple and any children they may have. The Law of Moses required capital punishment for fornication and adultery. The law was a loving and protective boundary to ensure children were blessed at conception, and never a legalistic, severe punishment. A child is blessed at conception when both parents plan for the child and anticipate the birth with joy & gladness.
Destroy the Purpose of Dating
Premarital sex distorts the whole purpose of dating. It confuses and impairs our discernment and judgment. It makes us feel like we are married, even if we are not. We feel so powerfully united that we overlook problems and are much more likely to stay in the relationship even if we shouldn’t. We are deceived to think that we are connected, but actually, we are not. We are just connected physically drawn by lust.
Dating is a time to get to know each other and to evaluate prayerfully about whether to marry; it should be free from the mind and emotion bonding effects of sex. Be careful and wise. Protect yourself. Create a safe space to get to know the other person. Once you have made the commitment to the covenant marriage, you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy each other. But if you do break up, you will be sparing yourself a lot of heartbreak and regret.
Fornication marks the end of the relationship as it once was. The physical aspect will become the primary focus. After this, every time the couple gets alone, the tendency is that they will continue to have one sexual intercourse after another - regardless of the dangers and problems. It is almost impossible for a couple who has a sexual relationship to back out in their relationship and stop having sex. Often it breaks down all their restraints and creates an emotional craving for more and more sexual activity.
This sexual tension in a dating relationship drives and motivates the couple to grow to know each other better. This artificial sense of sexual closeness prevents a couple from assessing and addressing their differences, which they need to do for a long-term relationship.
Sexual activity before marriage destroys relationships, it does not strengthen them. Many who are involved in premarital sex sincerely believe they love each other and think having sex will strengthen their relationship. However, the contrary is true. Guilt and shame and fear of exposure often cause them to break up. Sex is ordained by God to strengthen marriages not relationships. Please do not get them mixed up.
There is no one positive benefit to premarital sex activity, but it brings a lot of unnecessary pain and brokenness to the future relationship. It brings short-term ecstasy but long term misery.
As a child of God, we should learn to honor God with our body.
1Cor.6:18-20 – “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s”.