Devotion 2 – Our Responsibility
Our question from Devotion 1 is: “Does God really have a specific someone for every one of us?”
It could also be “No” as God often gives us a free choice and expects us to apply biblical wisdom for our choice of a life partner.
The daughters of Zelophehad
Num.36:1-6 –“Now the chief fathers of the families of the children of Gilead the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of the sons of Joseph, came near and spoke before Moses and before the leaders, the chief fathers of the children of Israel. 2 And they said: “The Lord commanded my lord Moses to give the land as an inheritance by lot to the children of Israel, and my lord was commanded by the Lord to give the inheritance of our brother Zelophehad to his daughters. 3 Now if they are married to any of the sons of the other tribes of the children of Israel, then their inheritance will be taken from the inheritance of our fathers, and it will be added to the inheritance of the tribe into which they marry; so it will be taken from the lot of our inheritance. 4 And when the Jubilee of the children of Israel comes, then their inheritance will be added to the inheritance of the tribe into which they marry; so their inheritance will be taken away from the inheritance of the tribe of our fathers.”
5 Then Moses commanded the children of Israel according to the word of the Lord, saying: “What the tribe of the sons of Joseph speaks is right. 6 This is what the Lord commands concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, ‘Let them marry whom they think best, but they may marry only within the family of their father’s tribe.’
In the above passage, we have a story whereby the Lord commanded the inheritance to be given to the daughters of Zelophehad. But the son of Manasseh was concerned that the unrestricted marriages of the daughters (to men from other tribes) in such circumstances would seriously affect the tenure of their inheritance in Israel as this land would end up belonging to another tribe.
The plea appeared just and reasonable; and, accordingly an enactment was made by which the daughters of Zelophehad, while left with a free choice in choosing their husbands, were restricted to marry not only within their own tribe, but within the family of their father's tribe--that is, one of their cousins.
So, here we learn that God actually gives them freedom to choose their own marriage partner, but with the restriction to only marry within their own tribe in order to keep their inheritance.
Liberty of the Widows
1Cor.7:39 – “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
Again, here in this passage, we are told that God actually gives widows the “liberty to marry whom they wish” within the boundary that she must only remarry someone in the faith.
Just because God ordained ‘the wife’ specifically for Isaac doesn’t mean there is “the one” ordained spouse for everyone. Rejecting the notion that God only creates “the one” for us does not discount the reality of God’s providence and guidance towards someone suitable for us. But rather recognize that He will guide us by the principles and wisdom of the Word to help us make the best choice.
God in His sovereignty might have a specific plan for some people like in the case of Isaac & Rebekah but, for the majority of people, He gave them the free choice to choose whom they marry or whether to even marry. God makes us stewards of all that He has made and has given us the opportunity to think and choose. We are responsible!
Though this idea seems in tension, they are not mutually exclusive. In fact, this tension – God’s sovereignty and our responsibility – runs throughout scripture.
It means that as we believe in the sovereignty and providence of God, we should also be diligent in our studies of the Word and prayer and our walk with the Lord so that we can cultivate wise discernment in the relationships we experience in our life.
Most importantly, it also means that should one choose to remain unmarried, he or she can still rest in God’s unchanging character. If we believe in the “only one” theology, then one will feel incomplete if they never find the right one. Has God forgotten to create “the one” for them or has He forsaken leading them to “the one”?
They are not abandoned or forgotten by God. We have a good good Father who is sovereign and always have our ultimate good in mind. We are called to worship God in spirit and in truth, hence, the more accurate our understanding of His attributes, the deeper is our worship.
If at any point our understanding of God’s sovereignty or another of His immeasurable attributes leave us in doubt or fretful, we know that we have not rightly understood him. It should be an opportunity for us to dive deeper in the knowledge of God!