Devotion 3 – Seeking First His Kingdom
Once we have settled the notion that there is no “only one right person” to marry, then we can devote our hearts to learn the biblical wisdom for choosing our marriage partner.
Prov.18:22 - “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord.”
Prov.31:10 - “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies”
These two verses assume that we are involved in a serious pursuit, actively engaging our mind to make wise marital choices. Though it seems to speak to the men, we believe the principle is vice versa. We are encouraged to use wisdom and not dependent on destiny as our guide when choosing a marriage partner.
Marriage can either be our biggest cross on earth or a glimpse of heaven on earth. We need to seriously ask ourselves: “Ten year into our marriage, would we be crying tears of joy or tears of pain?”
Bear in mind, the person you marry is going to be the last person you’ll see every night before you sleep and the first person you’ll see when you wake up in the morning. Your relationship with this person is going to bring you pleasure or pain, help or hinder you in your destiny in God.
Psychologically, feeling “heartbroken” from love is rated among the most stressful life events a person can experience, exceeded in psychological pain only by death of loved ones. Thus, making a wise choice is very important.
Emotions are powerful things. It’s extremely dangerous to play with someone else’s emotion as the loss of love can cause a person to be suicidal or, worse, even homicidal.
Seek First the Kingdom of God
Matt.6:33 – “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.”
Why you marry is more important than who you marry!
For centuries, many couples marry because of love, but the truth and sad thing is that few remain happy for long in their marriages. Studies show that the ‘honeymoon’ season for most couples do not last for more than two years and unfortunately, is getting shorter in this present century.
Hence, it is a proven fact that marrying because of love is not a good enough foundation for the marriage to be happy and to last. However, every year, hundreds of thousands of couples still marry based on this same foundation. If we do not learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it.
As powerful and important as romance is, it might not be the best reason to get married. We need to set a higher standard and better foundation for our choice of a marriage partner.
Matthew 6:33 holds the key to abundant life and especially so when it applies to marriage. If we let this agenda drive our decision in marriage, we will have a much more fulfilling, spiritually enriching and overall more satisfying marriage that will glorify God.
If God’s kingdom is truly the centre of our lives, then we need to ask ourselves some serious questions when looking for a spouse.
Can this person walk with me towards God and help me in fulfilling my destiny or will this person derail me from my destiny? Will he or she help me run the race God has laid out before me, or will he or she act like an anchor dragging at my feet?
It’s not selfish to choose wisely in marriage; it’s being a good steward for the one life God has given us. And if we do not put in the hard work of determining a suitable spouse that we can glorify God together with, what makes you so sure that we have the discipline to do the hard work of building a satisfying and God-honouring marriage.
When mission comes first and marriage second, we will continue to serve God whether in a happy or sad marriage.
Col.1:16 – “For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him”
We are created by Him through Him & for Him. Thus, our ultimate purpose in life is to bring Him glory.
Rom.11:36 – “For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen”.
Likewise marriage is also created by God to bring glory to Him. Marriage is not just about being happy, having a soul mate, someone to love and be loved, etc. While it includes all these things, there is a greater purpose, and that is to make us holy, to bless His kingdom on this earth and to impact our next generation positively.
God can use the challenges present in any marriage to help us grow in holiness, learn to depend on Him, and increase our ability to love. Marriage isn’t about finding the right person so that we can have a good marriage. It’s also about becoming a better person for the glory of God.