Devotion 12 – Immorality and Soul Ties
Science has proven that premarital sex rewires the brain. When a couple breaks up after having had a sexual relationship, the pain is much deeper than a normal break-up. That is because there are several neurochemical processes that occur during sex. Their brain produces lots of dopamine - a powerful chemical which is comparable to heroin. Dopamine is our internal pleasure/reward system. When dopamine is involved, it creates an ‘addictive’ behavior in us; and it makes us want to repeat that act.
When a woman breastfeeds her child, she produces lots of oxytocin, a hormone which bonds her to her child. The same phenomenon occurs when a woman has sexual intercourse with a man. Oxytocin is released, and this makes her bond to him emotionally.
Men, on the other hand, produce vasopressin, which is also referred to as the “monogamy hormone,” and it has the same effect as oxytocin on a woman. It bonds a man to a woman. That is wonderful in a marriage relationship but disastrous in a dating relationship when sex is involved. These two neurochemical bonding hormones create a neurochemical fog that will confuse us. It makes us feel like we want to be with the person even if we mentally understand that it is not right. This is one of the reasons why many stay in a toxic relationship. We would rather feel ‘complete’ and mistreated, than deal with the pain of a break-up and move on.
Worse, when we who has been sexually active, go through a break-up, we will feel very lost and traumatised as we are separating what is already bonded together. To ease that intense pain, we will typically move quickly to establish a similar relationship with a new partner—repeating the same mistake. It is difficult to keep someone who has our body out of our heart!
Unfortunately, that propels us to seek out the “bad” experience to work out our shame, guilt and pain. We often use pain or pleasure to medicate our pain. And sadly, this often leads to a vicious cycle of an unending immoral life.
Danger of Soul ties
The term “soul tie” is not found in Scripture, but the concept can be very dangerous if not taken seriously.
1Cor.6:18 – “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body”
Why does God single out sexual immorality as sin against our own body? Isn’t it true that sin like gluttony, drugs and alcohol abuse etc. also sin against our own body? That is because sex is inherently spiritual, it creates a spiritual & physiological bonding.
1Cor.6:16 – “Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two, He says, shall become one flesh”
In these verses, Paul made it perfectly clear that sexual intercourse is more than a biological experience; it involves a communion of life. Every time we have sexual intercourse with someone we become one flesh with that person. Something spiritual "happened" in the act of sex - we were “joined”, our souls were “tied” and we become “one flesh”.
After sexual intercourse, our bodies may separate but our souls and spirits are still joined together. Something of the man becomes part of the woman and something of the woman becomes part of the man. In fact, one of the meanings of the word “joined” in the Greek means "glued to", and whenever you pull apart something that has been glued together there is always damage to one or both parts.
God created sex for the intimacy of a husband & wife. Sex unites us deeply emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. For these reasons, those of us who have several sex partners, tend to have fragmented and disoriented minds as our souls are joined together with many other souls. And when we separate, it equates to a dismantling of the soul. It is not a separation of two persons, but a division of one person. Part of my soul is now attached to him or her.
Thus, we are also connected in chain-like fashion with everyone with whom we have had a sexual relationship. We have all heard the saying, "A man who lies down by a dog with fleas, gets up with fleas." There is a parallel in the spiritual realm to this, and that is - whenever you lay down with someone to commit sexual immorality, you may get up with the same evil spirits they have. This means that we are exposed to every dark spirit from any of our previous sexual partners. These lifestyles also spread darkness like HIV or any kind of sexual venereal diseases.