Devotion 12 - Transformed vs Transferred

“Pain that is not transformed is transferred.”  ~ Richard Rohr

One of the important elements in discipleship is spiritual transformation. In life, it is inevitable that we all face setbacks, trials, pain and suffering. We must choose how we respond or react to them. Tragically, pain is cyclical; if not dealt with, victims of pain will become culprits of pain. Very often, we avoid pain by blaming others instead of taking responsibility of the problem.

Hence, if we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it. From generation to generation, we pass on the pain that was passed down to us, and usually to those closest to us, our spouse and our children who is most vulnerable. A painful cycle indeed. If we want to give our family a better world, then we must discover ways for these wounds to be transformed. Only a better person can create a better people and subsequently, a better world.

We need to be mindful and pay attention to our pain reactions. We need to recognise that most of our reactions come from our past, not our present pain. When projected or activated into the present, they create a negative reaction and ruin our present relationships. Though not every struggle is rooted in childhood experiences, however, a lot of our emotional triggers are usually painful wounds projected from the past. When we are hurt or feel attacked, the easy way to band-aid that pain is to attack back. But sadly, this temporary fix and momentary relief usually leave us feeling more isolation, shame and pain.

Our desire to attack back comes from our inability and unwillingness to process, regulate and cope with our own pain. If we are truly seeking transformation, we need to take on the accountability and responsibility to work on our growth and process our pain in a healthy manner.

How can we Transform our Pain?

2 Cor.1:3-4 - “The Father of mercies and God of all comfort, comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”

This is God’s way of turning the tables back on evil. When we refuse to succumb to the pain inflicted against us, but instead find a chance to use it for the benefit of others, it delivers us from the evil visited upon us. As God’s image-bearers in the world, it is not uncommon for us to suffer trials, hurts, pain and suffering. But instead of being victimised by the situation, we can become victors and take them as opportunities to demonstrate and manifest God’s love for mankind.

Tragically, many a times, God’s power is hindered by our unsanctified soul. We often lack His compassion, mercy and love because we love to indulge in self- pity.

If one has never undergone a crisis, the basic inclination is intolerance towards those who fumble in managing the calamities of life. But if we have been slighted before in certain areas of our lives, we remain sensitive in those areas even after we are healed of the pain. This sensitivity becomes something God can use to help us identify with the same sentiments in another person. It infuses compassion in ministry and empowers us to carry out a more effective ministry when dealing with hurting people. We believe it is for this reason that the Lord allowed us to face the suffering that accompanied wound inflicted on us. In the wilderness, God dealt first with Moses before using him to bring the Israelites out of Egypt. Unless we are delivered ourselves it is not possible for us to contribute to others’ deliverance.

Jesus experienced one of life’s most painful betrayals when He was rejected by the very same people He created! In His love, He healed many and delivered thousands. In return, He was waged with the most cruel and humiliating death. Yet, even by that death, our Lord used such injustice and turned it into an instrument of redemption and deliverance for the world.

It is by the stripes suffered by the Lord that we are healed. In the very place where He was wounded, He received the authority to heal. The same principle works for us. Many of those with the greatest healing ministries have endured painful physical maladies themselves. Many who have compassion to minister to drug addicts; abused children and homosexuals tend to be victims once themselves.

Jesus said, “Offences must come” (Mt.18:7). How we regard or react to the offences determine whether we become a better or bitter person. Unfortunately for some of us, when Satan strikes, we worsen the impact by pressurizing the wound – we aggravate and trouble it further by driving that spear or arrow deeper into ourselves.

How do we do that to an emotional wound? By paying more attention to our hurts than what’s necessary. Inadvertently, the more we look at our hurts, the more pitiable we see ourselves to be. Soon, we come to believe ourselves as being the victims of the world - totally abused and beaten.

Sacred Wounds - Falling Forward

In fact, all of us might be considered as the “walking-wounded” in one aspect or another. Some have scars that are visible and obvious, while others have wounds that have been kept hidden, wounds that have not yet begun to heal. However, we can do more than be healed; we can become “wounded healers” for others.

We should learn how to fall forward instead of backward. That means turning our wounds into sacred wounds that heal others. It does not mean we invalidate our pain, but rather, own it and turn it into healing balm to grace others. Unfortunately, many of us are conditioned with a narcissistic mindset, we think that once we are hurt, we have the right to hurt others and indulge in self-pity, and everyone is supposed to give us all the attention and love we need.

If only we are willing to see these “wounds” the way Jesus did, then they would become sacred wounds rather than scars to deny, disguise, or project onto others. We should stop exporting our unresolved hurt. Like Jesus, we need to hold our suffering until it becomes resurrection power to bless others.

Let our life count and our life story become His Glory. Turn every wound we suffer into healing gauze. Let the blood that bleeds from our hearts and the tears that flow from our depths be turned into healing oil and a fountain of life for others.